Printer Haters Manifesto

The Truth About Printers

Printers were meant to bridge the gap between the digital and physical worlds, but they’ve instead become the banes of our existence. They’re unpredictable. They jam when you need them most. They run out of ink at the exact moment you hit “print” on your most important document. And don’t even get us started on driver updates.

Printers represent the chaos of technology—the last stand of the analog world, refusing to go quietly into the night.

Why We Keep Using Them

We don’t hate printers because we want to; we hate them because we must. In a world where PDFs still need signatures, tickets need physical copies, and nothing says “official” like ink on paper, printers are inescapable. They’re like the office colleague who always steals your lunch but still gets the job done just enough to avoid being fired.

Our Philosophy

• Embrace the Loathing: It’s okay to curse your printer. Name it. Shame it. Just don’t punch it; we don’t want to see you on a viral rage video.
• Find Humor in the Struggle: Every paper jam is a lesson in patience. Every toner replacement is a moment of existential crisis. Laugh, because crying won’t fix it either.
• Support the Cause: Share your stories of printer betrayal. Unite with fellow printer haters. Together, we can form a community of solidarity and understanding.

The Dream

One day, we imagine a future free of printers. A world where paperless solutions reign supreme, where digital contracts are signed with the swipe of a finger, and where the phrase “low ink warning” is a relic of the past. Until that day comes, we soldier on, grimacing at our office companions but armed with memes, wit, and unshakable resolve.